On November 3, 2010 an event took place that would change my life forever. I had worked toward this goal for months. I read articles, watched videos, and practiced and practiced until I was so frustrated that I just had to walk away. I had prayed for this moment to come into my life and on that day it did. My little Natalie was FINALLY a crawler. I took video after video of her moving from one side of the room to the other. I cheered as she would focus her eyes on a toy and crawl with such determination and strength until she held it in her hands. I called family and friends and posted on Facebook this wonderful and exciting news. That night, I rested my head on my pillow, proud that we had reached another milestone. And then, morning came.
That next day, I realized my whole world had changed. I no longer had a baby who depended on me to get her from Point A to Point B. She could do that on her own, and quickly at that. I was a wreck. What was I thinking encouraging such behavior? She was into everything! It was horrible! So, my husband and I did what every other responsible parent would do in this situation. Enter the baby gates. All six of them! I had control again. I could do the dishes, vacuum, eat, etc. knowing exactly where she was at all times. It was great!
Well, it’s been a little over a year since we’ve put those gates up and now I’m finding that I’m not using them as much. I’ve even put a few in a closet. I don’t need them anymore. I can trust that Natalie knows what she can and cannot do in whatever room she wanders into.
As I was realizing all of this I couldn’t help it. I thought about Nat and the safety gates and how that relates to how I develop relationships with others. Almost everyone who has entered my life or “house” has experienced my “safety gates”. I don’t reveal a lot about myself when I first meet someone. I don’t give everyone I know total access to my dreams, my personal stories, or even my family, in some cases. I need to trust that my breakables will not shatter before I remove a gate. I’ve seen way too many people have to clean up their lives because they forgot to put up some gates. I encourage you to look at your life. Put up gates around what is important to you and only take them down for people who can walk throughout your life and value it as much as you do.
